By Judy Bishop Jurek
Art Linkletter said it best: “Kids say the darndest things.” Youngsters at deer camp are no exception. You never know WHAT they may verbalize. All you have to do is listen, perhaps even eavesdrop a little or prompt an awesome answer with a question or comment. It can be most entertaining to hear remarks that may be silly, interesting, whimsical, curious, downright dumb or incredibly sharp.
Other than age, there is sometimes not much difference between young and old hunters. There are pranksters, silent types, show-offs, teachers, fierce competitors, observers, know-it-alls, skill masters and, without a doubt, braggers. Some youngsters inherit their traits while others learn from imitating their elders. (Better be careful what YOU do at deer camp if kids are around!) The following excerpts of conversation were overheard at numerous deer camps during deer season. All are true. They are direct quotes from kids of various ages. Read for yourself what youthful hunters have to say about hunting and other things.
_ _ _
“My
spike buck had antlers eight inches and ten inches for
a
total of eighteen inches. He was really big. Bet he’s the
biggest
so far.”
_ _ _
“Dad
says I don’t have to take a bath. This is deer camp.”
_ _ _
“I
don’t know what kind of gun I shoot but I think it’s a
500
magnet. It has really big large bullets.”
_ _ _
“What
does being in the rut mean? I thought ruts were in
the
road.”
_ _ _
“All
they do is talk about deer, deer, deer. Don’t they get
tired
of it? Don’t they know anything else? I think they’re
obsessed
but they’re too dumb to know it.”
_ _ _
“They
call it a grunt call. I don’t know. I’m not putting
that
thing in my mouth.”
_ _ _
Young
man to Mom going hunting with him in a bow
blind:
“You have to use scentless deodorant; put on a camouflage
t-shirt;
you can’t wear those white tennis shoes;
you
have to step in fresh cow poop to hide your smell; you
can’t
cough, sneeze or blow your nose. Oh, and you have
to
change your underwear.” (Hmmm???)
_ _ _
“It
was dark when we got to the stand. But when we woke
up
the sun was shining and there were deer everywhere.”
_ _ _
“Why
do guts stink?”
_ _ _
“I
think it’s cool to go to the bathroom behind a bush. I
like
it.”—“Not me! I’m scared I’m going to fall in it.”
_ _ _
“But
I thought you were supposed to shoot them in the
neck,
not where you did.”
_ _ _
“Play
dominoes and cards. That’s all they ever do around
camp.
And eat. Whew! Do they eat! ‘Course it’s usually
some pretty good stuff unless it’s something I don’t like.”
“Let’s
see...we saw two squirrels, a bobcat, ten cows, sixteen
turkeys,
three cottontails, some sandhill cranes, a
couple
of roadrunners really called chaparrals, a family of
javelina,
a blue indigo snake I think, a covey of quail, a
big
jackrabbit, one coyote, all kinds of birds but didn’t see
not
even one deer. It was a bad afternoon hunt.”
_ _ _
“Man,
we saw a buck fight! They were really into it. A six point
whipped
a ten-point’s butt. It was cool!”
_ _ _
“Bet
my spike is longer than yours. How long are the
antlers
on your spike?”
_ _ _
“You
can tell a buck’s age by the number of points he has.”
_ _ _
“I
don’t believe that those wasps won’t sting you when
they’re
cold and almost not moving.”
_ _ _
“I
have to open the gates. Why can’t somebody else do it
once
in a while? Haven’t they ever heard of cattle guards?”
_ _ _
“Do
deer blow snot out of their nose when they snort?”
_ _ _
“No,
we didn’t see any deer. But we were talking and
laughing
and eating snacks and we had cokes but we had
a
good time anyway.”
_ _ _
“My
brother was supposed to wake me before he shot a
deer.
I hit my head on his chair when the gun went off
and
I tried to jump up. I’m gonna get him back one of
these
days.”
_ _ _
“You
don’t really EAT the deer heart and liver, do you?
YUCK!”
_ _ _
“We
got stuck. It was awful. We had to walk twenty, no,
thirty,
no…I KNOW we walked fifty miles back to camp.
I
don’t want to go out when it’s muddy EVER again!”
_ _ _
“Yes
it does count as driving the jeep even if I’m sitting in
my
dad’s lap.”
_ _ _
“My
daddy’s buck is the biggest one yet of anybody’s.
Probably
the whole world.”
_ _ _
“We
saw two doe stand up and try to hit each other with
their
front legs. Kind of like my sisters swinging their arms
when
they try to fight.”
_ _ _
“My
daddy said the bunny rabbits were just playing leap
frog
and piggy back. They were so cute I wanted to try to
catch
one. He said he would buy me one, but only one.
But
it might get lonesome by itself and wouldn’t have
anybody
to play leap frog and piggy back with.”
_ _ _
“Mom
and I go shopping while they hunt. The best thing
is
Dad never says anything about how much money we
spend.
It’s not like at home.”
_ _ _
“You
don’t have your hands far enough apart. I saw him,
too.
He was THIS BIG!”
“The
gun went off, POW! And all the deer took off ninety miles
an
hour. He couldn’t believe he missed. I laughed.
He
thinks he knows it all. Wait ‘til I get a deer.”
_ _ _
“Of
course I know how to use this knife. You think I just
wear
it around for looks or something?”
_ _ _
“I
ate RATTLESNAKE! It wasn’t too bad. You could
make
some neat toothpicks out of the bones.”
_ _ _
“Nobody
can shoot ALL the deer. One of these days there
wouldn’t
be any left. It’s call conversation.”
“You
mean conservation.” “That’s what I said, dummy.
Conversation.”
_ _ _
“Not
me. I don’t get the shakes. And I didn’t have buck
fever.
I didn’t feel bad or get sick when I shot at that deer.
I
just think my gun is off is why I missed.”
_ _ _
“My
spike had really long horns. Yours aren’t even close.
You
have to add them together. That’s called the Boone
and
Crockett score.”
_ _ _
“The
more points a buck has the older he is. Except for
spikes.
They can be any age.”
_ _ _
“I
checked our towels and underwear on the clothesline.
They’re
as dry as a mud puddle.”
_ _ _
“Mom
didn’t say anything but I know she was mad when
I
sneezed and kicked the stand ‘cause all the deer ran off.
I
sure was glad when they came back later.”
_ _ _
“They
said the turkey had a ten-inch beard. I didn’t see
anything
on its face except skin. And it was ugly, wrinkly,
nasty
skin. It didn’t have any hair on its face.”
_ _ _
“Yep.
That’s my deer. It’s my very first one ever. It’s the
biggest
buck I’ve ever gotten. But I’m gonna get more.”
_ _ _
“I been huntin’ longer ‘an you. I know everything ‘bout
deer huntin’ ‘cause I’m twelve and I know.”
_ _ _
“Deer
camp’s the best because you eat good stuff, tell
stories
around the camp fire but some are lies even though
they
say they aren’t, see all kinds of nature stuff, not just
deer.
If you’re lucky you might get a big buck, which is
what
it’s all about anyway. I hate when deer season ends.
It’s
all fun, too. You never know what somebody might say
or
do. I love deer hunting. I REALLY love deer camp!”
_ _ _
That’s it,
folks. Youthful hunters (and non-hunters) don’t miss a thing, that’s for sure.
Oh, maybe they miss a shot once in a while but even older hunters do that and
will not admit it. Deer camp is a fun place to be any time of the year,
especially with youngsters around. As you have read, kids say the darndest things!
